Worry is Strangling

So I heard one of the most amazing sermons last night at Lifechurch.tv. Craig talked about worry and how some of us worry so much that we make it our friend and we almost feel lost without it. He talked about how the Bible tells us to worry about nothing but to first seek God and tomorrow will worry about itself. He had two boxes one labled ME and one labled GOD. We tend to worry about things and put them in the "ME" box to worry about when they should be going into the "GOD" box. Out of the two boxes the GOD box was smaller which is the problem. Our God is too small. Right when He said that I realized that MY God is too small...not only is He small but He is so far away sometimes. I was so ashamed to realize that! He switched the boxes and said when our God is bigger He can carry more of a load for us, and we trust Him more. And the part that was the best was he said that ultimately WE should put ourselves inside God's box! How can we worry if we are in God, if we trust Him so much with our lives that He surrounds us all of the time. I know I have a problem with giving God my worries and when it isn't better soon enough I take it out and keep it. If I was in God's box....I wouldn't even be able to take it out, I would be in there with it! It was amazing... I just realized that since I got married I have been trying to keep all of my worries and I have not trusted God to be bigger than me and my problems. That seems so elementary but I have the hardest time with it. It was so enocouraging to me and I really searched within myself to change some things. Adam made me a box to keep at home so that when I worry I can write it down and put it in God's box. I am sure it will fill up quickly at first. Worry in my life is choking the life out of me and my realtionship with God and I want that to stop. I do not want my life to be consumed by worry but by faith. I think my faith has been stomped out for some time now. I have been worrying about money, and jobs, and marriage, and the youth...oh my gosh to I worry about that, I worry so much about controlling my life that it is falling apart, I don't feel like me anymore I don't feel like others know me either because I have been so unhappy for a long time that the life I used to have is so far away. I am so dissapointed in myself for getting to this point. I also went to Grace this morning and Lance's sermon really hit a spot too that jsut made me break down. I think God has made me realize some things but before it can get better I feel like I am being stripped of myself. It hurts sometimes to get better. I feel like an addict who is going through detox....I can't just know that soemthing is wrong I have to face it, confront it and start the repair process and for me that is painful already and I am sure there will be many more tears. There are some areas of my life that even if I give it to God I know it won't cange right away. Some things in my life are painful and lonely but even if none of that chages I have to let God carry my burdens and stop carrying my own pain. It really has been corrupting my life...awww....deep breath.